Day 4 of 365

Happy new year!

2017 will be a year that I will (probably) stay in just one place and I plan to make more productive by learning to write, and making blogging a habit.

2016 was very different and it was the year where I made really big decisions.

I left my job that many would consider “a great place to work in”, I didn’t pursue my masters despite being accepted in my dream university, I left another good paying job in a really promising company, and I went abroad – to Saudi Arabia.

To sum up my year, it was very impulsive. I was moving too fast, making big decisions, not really thinking too much about it.

I guess the reason why I accepted this job is because I wanted to escape. I needed to grow, personally. I need to learn how to adult. And maybe being stuck somewhere, without distractions might just work.

My 2017 countdown was a first. I wasn’t making noise with my family, I didn’t prepare pasta and ham like I used to every year, I didn’t eat with anyone when the clock stroke 12, I wasn’t carrying our scared dog (she is very scared of loud noises), I wasn’t able to hug my parents and jumped with my sister. The countdown was sad and lonely.

I think there is a physical pain that I can actually feel inside me. Something that I can’t explain and I have never felt this way before. Its just SO sad.

This is a first, and I know that this will help me become someone who is emotionally strong, and just being able to go through the feeling of loneliness, and being able to embrace this emotion will be good for me.

2017 will be a lot of firsts, this year, it will be different.

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